A week later...still going strong!

IT'S BEEN A WEEK!!!!!!!

I quit a week ago and have been doing great! This is defiantly a milestone in the process. Lately, I have been going longer between lozenges and have started noticing how bad cigarettes smell. I finally came up with the courage to empty the ashtray that was sitting in my balcony. I had been avoiding this because I wasn't sure if the smell would make me crave, it didn't. I also went out to diner with some friends last night and, although they were smoking, I didn't feel the need to smoke myself. I have noticed that eating sweets causes more craving than anything else, so I'm stating away from them.

All my clothes have been washed already and I changed the cabin filter in my car and sprayed it with Fabreeze to get rid of the smell. I'm starting to get more confident that I can do this. I will keep going, day to day and finally become an ex-smoker.

Don't forget your lozenges!!

I forgot my Commit Lozenges today. This had not been a problem until now that I am having a really bad craving- I just ate- and my leg started shaking again. Well, I guess this is one way to separate the men from the boys. It's a good thing I was leaving early today and can stop at home on my way to where I'm going. Otherwise, there might be hell to pay for anyone coming in to my office with anything other than good news and pleasant thoughts. A hard thing when you're the guy that handles insurance claims and on the job injuries.

Thanks GOD I leave in 10 minutes. I'll be itching by the time I get home. Or I might just go into that Zen place in my head and think about pink elephants and flying cows to help soothe my mind...all together now, Ommmmmmm!

Ah, I feel better now. A little raving, a little chanting and I can go on.

Day 4

4 days since my last smoke. I never thought I could make it this far. I was sure my will would break. Well, it's starting to get a little easier. I have begun the process of developing a routine that does not involve smoking and it seems to be working.

Still, the hardest part is after I eat and when I first wake up. I guess I'll know I'm an ex-smoker when my first thought in the morning doesn't involve a cigarette or a nicotine lozenge. It feels good to be making it though. I feel like I'm accomplishing something that is good for me and the people around me. Everyone has told me how happy they are that I decided to quit and it actually feels good to have that support.

I haven't been too worried about it today, haven't thought about it much. Hopefully there will come a day when I don't think of it at all.

Committed Quitters

I got my custom program from the people that make the lozenges. It's called Committed Quitters. Reading through it feels like an AA meeting, or at least, what I think that would be like. Thankfully, I don't have a drinking problem other than having two hands and only one mouth.

I guess it is essentially a 12-step program, except that it doesn't have 12 steps. Darn! I'm not making any sense...I think this is starting to affect my brain function or something. Anyway, It basically says for me to think about the motivation I have to quit. I reminds me that this is a very, very , VERY hard process (as if I weren't aware of it) and tells me to contact my support person (my wife) any time I have a bad craving. It even has a letter addressed to her on how to help me without jeopardizing her life (since quitters get extremely cranky).

The funny thing is that it tells me that it's OK to relapse as long as I get back on the program, which I immediately took to mean that I could have a smoke. Don't worry, I didn't. But my brain did a somersault until I told it to calm down before it hurt itself. No nicotine for you brain! Well, at least none from a cigarette since I get it from the lozenges.

Anyway, it's good to know that I will be saving about $2000 a year by not smoking and may live to have a cute nurse change my diaper in an old folk home. Maybe I'll do like my baby boy's bound to do and pee as soon as the clean diaper comes on.

1004 AM.

Doing good today. I haven't had a lozenge all morning and seem to be doing OK. I think I'm only going to use them when I'm REALLY hurting for a smoke. According to the package I'm supposed to use more of these than I ever smoked cigarettes in one day. Something like 12-24 pieces.

What I don't want is to break the habit of smoking and become something worse, something darker and hideous. Something that not even a mother could be proud of. I don't want to become......

A SUCKER!!!!

IT'S BEEN 48 HOURS!!!!!

48 hours after quitting and I still have all my hair intact, haven't killed anyone or banged my head against the wall. I can't seem to stop moving my leg though...weird! Oh well, I hope it doesn't fall off.

I have noticed I get hungry faster. Maybe having a small lunch at the same time I quit is not a great idea. It's not like I'm terribly worried about my figure since I am already in shape.

HEY! Round IS a shape. OK!

Well, here I am with my new best friend. I hate cell phone cameras!

Aaaaaaand we're back!

OK, I moved this blog from another service (which will remain unnamed). All posts in that blog are pasted below. Read these to catch up...


Entry for January 22, 2007
8:07 PM. OK, the work thing is harder than I thought. I have been constantly thinking about a smoke all day. I haven't given in to it though. I guess since this is where I would smoke the most, it's understandable I would get more cravings.
Well, the program part of the lozenges says to think about the reason(s) why I want to quit whenever I get a bad craving. This really helps. I've also kept busy and haven't even walked outside since it would remind me of smoking. Eventually I will, no rush.
So, why am I doing this? Not really for my health. I am enough of a realist to know that I will die at some point, probably of cancer or heat disease since these run in my family regardless of smoking or not. I have also had no pressure from family or friends, so that's not it. The $15 I have saved in the last 3 days are a good reason, but not the main one.
I'm quitting because years ago I promised myself two things:
1. I would quit when cigarettes reached $5/pack
2. If I ever had a kid, I would quit smoking
Well, I'll be darned if cigarettes didn't hit $5 as soon as I found out I was becoming a dad. I guess God does have a sense of humor and wanted to leave no room for doubt that it was my time. Guess I better listen.

Entry for January 22, 2007
1:15 PM CST and still smoke free. This is going well. I've had a few moments when I have caught myself moving on automatic looking for my pack of smokes. I'm glad I decided not to buy that "just-in-case" pack 'cause I would've smoked already.
The odd thing is I don't physically feel the urge to smoke. It's the habitual activities that went along with smoking. The morning cigarette with coffee, the smoke driving to work, the smoke to relieve the stress of some jackass cutting me off on the road, etc.
I've already told everyone I used to smoke with at work not to come get me for the smoke break. This is my first day at work since I quit and will probably be the hardest. I need to keep myself busy with work to keep my mind of smoking. This shouldn't be a problem since I have a ton of work today...yet here I sit blogging this....LOL!
Well, day 3 today and still doing well. Hurray for me!

Entry for January 21, 2007
It is now 6:49 pm and still no smoking. I've felt good most of the day. The hardest part is after a meal. Thank GOD the lozenges help. It's weird, I still think about it, but don't really feel like I need it so I can get it out of my mind. Just 4 more hours to the first 24 smoke free hours I've had in a loooooooooong time.
Gotta pat my self on the back for that...one day at a time. Tomorrow will be easier...I hope.

Entry for January 21, 2007
OK, so I quit smoking about 12 hours ago. So far so good!
I went out to get some smokes last night and changed my mind and got some Commit Lozenges instead. I had been thinking about this for a while but thinking does nothing right?
Keep track of my progress here and see if I fall off the wagon or can make it this time. I have good motivation now....I'm gonna be a daddy and want to give a good example to my son.